Tell it the much cooler way it should have happened

I've got a new entry for the things-I-didn't-even-realize-I-believed-in folder: morals at the end of stories. I think that's made for some pretty terrible art. I've noticed a certain preachy-ness, a high on my horse type vibe, sneaking into my writing. I once wrote a 10 page allegory about a weapons contractor capturing the Senate. I had a great time writing it, but nobody had a great time reading it.

I think there's something in our culture, an ideology that you have to wrap things up all nice and tidy. Where does that come from? Perhaps it comes from this nice and tidy list here:

• Years of English teachers harping on about introductions, bodies, and conclusions.
• "And so the boy's thumb got eaten. And that's why you don't steal cookies," type tales from childhood.
• Endless demonstrations in church that every passage of the Bible has a bullet list of meaningful lessons.

Would you pay to go see any of that? It's all boring, preachy, there because it's supposed to be, not because it's good, type art. The slow motion hugging montage at the end of the movie is always the most boring part. You can tell it's there for cynical reasons, like, nobody will see this movie if it doesn't have a happy ending. Nobody will like this sermon if it doesn't have application points. What's the point of my blog post unless it convinces people to repent of their annoying ways.

Maybe it has something to do with know-it-alls being really annoying. False certainty. There's no vulnerability in a bullet list of firm conclusions, but to be human is to be vulnerable. I appreciate vulnerable writing because it makes me feel like I'm not alone. People who have it aaaaaall figured out are the worst.

I mean, if you've got a good point to make, an entertaining conclusion, a punch line that's really worth it and is itching to get out, then by all means. But I think my official policy is now not to force my writing, art, music, or whatever to have a moral. New rule: DON'T FORCE MY ART TO BE ANYTHING IT DOESN'T REALLY WANT TO BE.

The irony of writing a pointed blog post about not forcing points to blog posts isn't lost on me.